Culture & Values

A customer in an Italian restaurant is so pleased with his meal that he insists on telling the chef personally. The owner proudly leads him into the kitchen.

“Your pizza is superb,” the customer tells the chef. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there.”

“Naturally,” the chef says. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!”

What do you call a highly cited epidemiology researcher with a social media presence? An influenzer.

Where did the researcher keep all of his dad jokes? In a dad-a-base.

The pregnant researcher gave birth to twin girls.She named one Constance and keeps changing the name of the other one.

I used to be a researcher for a hard drive manufacturer. I was the first person ever to fit 1000 megabytes into an SSD. Looking back… It was a solid gig.

Why did the researcher take his paper to the harbour? To get it pier reviewed.

Researchers at the MIT recently found out… After a few minutes, they went back inside.

Q: Why can you never trust atoms?

A: They make up everything!

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

Where were bobble-heads created? In the land of nod.

On a caving expedition, a man falls into a hole. His partner calls to him, “Are you hurt?”

He yells back, “No!”

“How could you fall down that hole and not be hurt?”

“Because I’m still falliiiiiiiiiing!”

A man walks into a bar with a chicken potpie on his head. The bartender asks, “Why are you wearing a chicken potpie on your head?”

The man replies, “It’s an old family tradition. We always wear chicken potpies on our heads on Tuesday.”

“Today’s Wednesday.”

“Oh dear,” says the man. “I must look like a real fool.”